


Lending A Paw

by epcot97



Series: What Came Before He Knew Her [5]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Major Character Injury, Marichat | Adrien Agreste as Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Supportive Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:14:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22962253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epcot97/pseuds/epcot97
Summary: After a fluke accident sidelines Marinette, Chat Noir steps in to help his friend while simultaneously dealing with an unexpected absence of his partner, Ladybug.  But as Marinette falters on the road toward recovery, Chat discovers it will take every feline skill in his book – and then some – to overcome the challenge of healing his friend.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Series: What Came Before He Knew Her [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1480151
Comments: 67
Kudos: 210





	1. Three Seconds

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ktreereads](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ktreereads/gifts).



> I was approached by the amazing ktreereads some time ago to take a story they had written and tackle it from Chat’s perspective, creating two sides of the same narrative. I was flattered at the ask, and even more amazed once I read the source material – Stronger Together – and have to admit to a bit of trepidation at creating anything that might take away from such a strong, beautiful, Marichat experience.
> 
> What follows is my attempt to do justice to the ask – hopefully this is what you were looking for, kt!
> 
>  **Please be warned:** this story deals with individuals suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD. In an effort to make the story realistic, our characters will be dealing in realistic terms with the aftereffects that triggers can have on their lives. The intent is to respectfully portray individuals struggling to put their lives back into order, but that often includes extremely low moments and very rough patches on the way toward recovery. If you suffer from PTSD, please know that people care for you much in the way Chat cares for Marinette – and also know there are professionals out there who can help you get through this. Not all superheroes wear masks and cat ears, but they are superheroes all the same.
> 
> And as always, I have no ownership of these amazingly intriguing characters, nor any other part of Miraculous.  
> 

I’ve never forgiven myself for not being there when the accident happened.

While there was no way I could have anticipated something so random happening to someone I cared for, it was such a mundane reason _why_ I’d not been out and about as Chat that particular afternoon. No, instead of roaming to the rooftops of Paris, I’d been stuck in a budget meeting – _a damn budget meeting!_ – for the summer advertising buy, a Sisyphean exercise at best as Father had been overruling most of my suggestions anyway. While I’d been modestly successful at exerting influence over some parts of our fashion empire, certain decisions remained firmly in his hands, even if we could never see them from his webcam.

My phone had started buzzing halfway through the meeting, and I’d silenced the first seven calls; on the eighth, I was concerned enough to finally duck out of the boardroom to take the call from Nino in a semi-private portion of the corridor – at least, as private as a glass-walled office could be. I was completely unprepared for the sight of his emotionally flushed face, and the news he quickly relayed sent me staggering to the glass wall as though someone had physically hammered me in the chest with both fists. He’d barely given me the particular hospital she was in before I disconnected and ran full-tilt for the stairwell to the roof.

 _Marinette’s been in an accident, dude. She’s hurt bad,_ Nino had said.

Smashing through the door to the roof, I called for my transformation and had barely become Chat Noir before hurling myself into the sky.

_The firefighters had to cut her out of the car! Her father was with her, he’s fine, thank God…_

I had to blink my masked eyes to keep my feline vision clear, for Marinette had become more than just a friend to me. As Chat, I’d spent countless hours hanging out with her at her family’s bakery; after we both graduated from University, I’d started to alight upon the balcony of her apartment, which I’d dryly noted was purrfect for nocturnal caterwauling. She’d rather drolly informed me the wrought iron railing, while evocative of her rooftop patio, hadn’t been a factor in selecting the space, though her continued acceptance of my increasingly frequent visits belied the truth of the matter.

_I don’t have the specifics, but Sabine told Alya her arm was fractured in multiple places._

It had taken a significant amount of time to make peace with Ladybug’s rejection of me; Marinette’s steady friendship had been a rock, one I’d been able to use as a way of re-centering my universe. Slowly, Marinette had wound her way around my hurting feline heart – and I was pretty sure I’d begun curling myself around hers. Despite all of the signs, though, my experience with Ladybug had created some hesitation on my part to push forward to the next step; what we had was special in its own right, and I’d spent countless sleepless nights worried that if I told Marinette how I felt about her, it would end as badly as it had with Ladybug.

Now I was wondering if I’d waited too long.

_We’re going over now. But traffic is still snarled from the accident._

I landed on the rooftop of L'Hôpital Américain de Paris, silently thanking the kwamis that the paramedics had chosen to take her there. It was one of the top orthopedic centers in Paris, and if Marinette were hurt as badly as Nino had indicated, it was the absolute best place for her to get care. Scurrying across the pebbled rooftop, I located an emergency stairwell and yanked the door off its hinges; as it clattered away from me on the rooftop, I hurled myself down one flight after the other, headed to the ICU on the fourth floor where Nino had said she was. Finding the door to the requisite floor, I only hesitated for a fraction of a heartbeat before I burst through and badly startled the duty nurse behind a massive horseshoe-shaped desk. If there had been paper charts, I’m sure they would have been everywhere.

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng,” I demanded, my paws gripping the countertop hard enough there were tiny dents in the faux wood from my claws.

Impressively, the nurse held her ground. “Only family may visit patients in the ICU,” she said. “Are you family?”

My tail swished angrily. “Which… _room_?” I growled as my masked eyes narrowed.

She blinked. “435E. Keep your voice down while you’re in there.”

I nodded a fraction of a second before galloping down the hallway on all fours, leaning on my feline reflexes to avoid colliding with anything in the crowded hallways and paying little heed to the staring medical personnel. Ladybug would likely have a few words with me for such actions, but at that moment, I didn’t care. Masked green eyes caught and rapidly discarded door placards as they whizzed by before I came to an abrupt stop at number four-thirty-five-E. Standing slowly, I slid the glass barrier open and entered the darkened room. 

My feline senses were overwhelmed by the space: it was small and cramped, making me immediately uncomfortable. The air was filled with the noise of the medical equipment and the astringent smell of the hospital cleaning materials inappropriately mixed with the exotic spices that were Marinette. The curtains had been pulled against the late day sun, but with my night vision, it didn’t matter, for I could clearly see my friend huddled against the mattress of the hospital bed.

Her arm was at an awkward angle, one that brought an uncomfortable queasiness to my stomach. It was still shrouded in the field splint added by the paramedics and was carefully laying upon a stack of pillows. The bed was tilted slightly, and Marinette’s beautiful hair was all muddled around her. The IV in her other arm snaked off the side of the bed, along with the pulse/oxygen gizmo that illuminated her index finger in a red halo.

But it was her pale face, slack in repose, that caught in my throat and had me immediately by her side. As much as I wanted to curl around her form on the bed, I opted instead to cradle her head against my chest and gently brush back her hair. My feline sense of smell could pick up the faint odor of the painkiller/sleeping aid she’d been given, but I already deduced from her slow heartbeat that she was out and would be for a while.

“Oh, Mari,” I said quietly as I carefully untangled her hair with my claws. “I’m here now,” I whispered.

The door slid open and masked eyes snapped to the intruder; I was surprised at the warning growl that escaped me. A doctor in scrubs appeared and slid the door closed behind him. “The head nurse told me you were in here,” he said without preamble. “Her father hasn’t left her side since their arrival – he came in with the ambulance. We just managed to convince him to get a cup of coffee a few minutes ago.” He paused, looking me up and down. “How do you know the patient?”

“She’s a friend,” I replied honestly. “I only just found out she was hurt.”

“You’re not family?”

“No.” I paused, knowing I was wearing a concerned expression on my masked visage. “I understand if you feel uncomfortable telling me anything.”

The doctor smiled, his white teeth offsetting the olive complexion of his skin and dark hair. “Where I come from, my forebears worshipped a deity that resembles you closely,” he said softly.

“I’m not a god, Doctor,” I replied. “Right now, I’m just a scared man in a catsuit.”

“I’m Dr. Rameesh,” he said, putting a hand to the bicep closest to him, “head of the orthopedic section here. Your friend’s arm was severely injured in the accident, with a compound fracture in her ulna and several smaller fractures in her radius.”

I’d been a top student in Biology and immediately understood why the head of the department was overseeing the case. My masked eyes widened in concern. “Can you---”

“Yes, Chat,” he nodded. “But it will require serious surgery, which we’ve scheduled for OR-1 first thing tomorrow morning. With time, and physical therapy, she should recover most of the use of her arm.”

“ _Most_?” I narrowed my masked eyes, for I was well aware Marinette was in the coveted House of Gabriel internship program, open to a select few applicants straight from University. I’d tried to keep some distance, owing to my own status as son-of-the-founder, but had surreptitiously ensured more than a few of her ideas had made it to Father’s desk. Feline eyes flicked to the splint again, knowing it was embracing her dominant arm. “How long will it take to recover?”

“We’ll know more after surgery.”

“I’d like to stay with her if I can.”

“We don’t normally allow pets in here,” Dr. Rameesh said with a smile.

I glared at him.

“It’s irregular,” he continued, still smiling, “but I don’t see any harm to her having some company. I’ll let the nurse know we’ll be hosting a special visitor.” He looked over to Marinette. “Three seconds,” he said softly.

“Three seconds?”

“That’s apparently how long it took for their car to wind up in the ditch.” He looked to me. “How long for her life to change.”

I turned my masked eyes toward my friend, looking at her anew and wondering how this was going to affect her; I’d seen so much as Chat over the years that I knew _exactly_ what the doctor was saying. Tragic events had a way of seeping into the soul of the wounded, and very few survived unscathed. Reaching down to her hair again, I made a silent promise that I would be there with her, every step of the way. 

I didn’t know how I’d be able to do it, but I’d find a way.


	2. Unexpected Visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _As Marinette begins her recovery process, Chat receives a surprise visit from Master Fu._

Every spare moment I had, I spent with Marinette in her apartment in the days after she returned from the hospital. Sabine moved in, leaving Tom to run the Bakery; true to form, she had no problem with an overgrown feline helping out. Having learned a few things from being friends with a baker’s daughter for so many years, I quickly made myself useful cooking dinner most evenings, getting a smile from both Marinette and Sabine each time they saw me wearing the frilly apron. 

About a week from Marinette’s return, Sabine took the opportunity of my arrival that evening to run home to the Bakery to check on her spouse and retrieve some fresh pastries he’d promised.

“Take as much time as you need,” I said to the petite woman. It wasn’t hard to see the dark circles beneath her normally vibrant eyes. “I can stay the evening – why don’t you come back in the morning?”

“I can’t ask that of you, Chat,” she said.

I leaned down to hug her small form. “Of course you can.”

“Don’t you need to do superhero things?” she asked.

“Got it covered,” I smiled my most disarming Chat smile. “Now, off with you.”

She looked at me skeptically, but waved as she exited the apartment, perhaps knowing that it had been a few days since I’d heard from Ladybug. That in itself wasn’t unusual, for Hawkmoth had often gone days if not a full month once between attacks. I was silently praying we were in one such lull period, for I didn’t want any distractions from tending to Marinette.

Carefully, I moved down the small hallway toward her bedroom and tapped my claws on the door. “Mari?”

“Come on in,” she said.

I pushed the door open and did a quick cat vault to the foot of her bed, perching along the floral filigree of the footboard effortlessly. “How do you feel tonight?” I asked as I extended my feline senses out.

“Okay,” she said, trying not to look at the massive cast running from her shoulder to her wrist. Her hair was up in a perfunctory bun, out of the way but nonetheless just as lovely as could be. “I’d give my other arm for a bath, though.”

I didn’t need those feline senses to know she was feeling a bit depressed.

Playing to my character as Chat, I grinned at her a bit wolfishly. “I might be able to help, there,” I said. “Cats use their—”

Marinette’s eyes went wide. “I’ll stick with the washcloth for now,” she said quickly, then paused. “You don’t _actually_ do that, do you? I mean, you’re a real person under that mask, right?”

I made a show of cleaning an area of my costume below my right wrist. “Sorry?”

A welcome chuckle issued from Marinette and I smiled to hear it. “Incorrigible.”

“Yes,” I said. “Can I get you anything? Water? Wine?”

“Nothing, thanks,” she said. “Did I hear Maman take off?”

“She’ll be back in the morning. You’re stuck with me tonight.”

“There could be worse things,” she said.

I slid off the end of the bed and took a bold risk, snuggling up beside her and rubbing my head against her chin. “There could,” I reminded her as I started to purr.

“Hey!” she said as she halfheartedly tried to push me away one-handed. “There’s barely enough room for _one_ on this mattress!”

“You want me to curl up closer, then?” I said as my tail playfully looped around her waist.

“ _Chat_ ,” Marinette said, slightly exasperated. “What exactly are you doing?”

“It’s been scientifically proven that cats can raise levels of helpful endorphins,” I said, notching my purring up a bit. “I’m simply assisting in your recovery.”

“Really,” she replied, and I didn’t need to see her face to know she was rolling her eyes. “I’d like to see your data on that.”

“Would you?” I asked as I snuck my arm behind her head so she could lean on my bicep. “I could talk for hours about cats, and you know that.”

She turned her head toward me and though she was smiling there was still something there that I didn’t like seeing. Especially the dark circles she, too, seemed to be sporting below her eyes. “You’re not sleeping, are you?”

“After a fashion,” she said.

I leaned my mane into her. “Tell me.”

“It’s nothing,” she said quickly.

“It’s _something_ ,” I said. “Nightmares, then?” I surmised, my feline ears hearing her pulse quicken as I made the suggestion. 

“Yeah,” she replied, turning away from me. 

I continued to purr, allowing it to fill the silence and make it less uncomfortable for her. After all the years I’d spent fighting Hawkmoth, I had some sense of what her dreams might be filled with – though I doubted it included being entangled in a massive web with a cat-eating spider bearing down on her.

The thought made me shudder and caused Marinette to turn back to me. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“I just had a flashback to one of my worst ones,” I smiled as I used a claw-tip to slide a bang away from her forehead. Thinking this might provide an opening, I continued. “It’s from an akuma attack when I was much younger. I was trying to rescue a civilian and got, quite literally, stuck in a spider’s web.”

“Wow.” Her eyes went wide.

I laughed a bit. “Once again, Ladybug had to save my furry butt. And that was also the first time Carapace joined us. So I guess it wasn’t all bad.”

“Except for the spider?”

“Except for the spider,” I agreed, snuggling my head back into hers. I continued to purr and hold her close. “So… you’re not the only one that has terrible nightmares. Mine are real gems.”

She laughed slightly. “I suppose so.” 

“What’s your nightmare?” I asked softly. “Does it also involve cat-eating spiders?”

“No,” Marinette sighed. “Do you mind if we just stay like this for a bit?”

“Of course, Princess,” I said, and let the silence lengthen once more. I recognized the delaying tactic but also didn’t want to push her, either.

As I continued my gentle purring, Marinette’s breathing became regular, and her pulse slowed down; within a few moments, she’d drifted off to sleep. It occurred to me that whatever else was bothering her, for at least a little while she was feeling safe enough to allow herself to finally relax. As best as she could with one arm in a cast, she snuggled tightly against me and I simply let her be, stroking her hair every so often and continuing my purring. I adjusted ever so slightly to accommodate her form a bit easier, but otherwise remained curled around her until Sabine quietly cracked open the bedroom door the following morning.

Carefully sliding myself out from beneath Marinette, I padded out into the hallway and closed the door. “She slept fitfully, but did _stay_ asleep all night,” I whispered. 

Sabine smiled slightly. “That’s good – and the first night since she got home.” She looked at me closely. “You didn’t, did you?”

I shrugged as I yawned. “I’ll find a sunbeam later and catch up.”

“Please do,” she said as she pressed a small box into my paws. “For you.”

I smiled, already smelling the Belgian chocolate croissants. “Thank you,” I said as I kissed her cheek. “I’ll be back tonight.”

“I’m cooking coq au vin,” she said.

“Then I won’t be late,” I laughed as I carefully tucked the box under an arm and vaulted out of the still-open balcony doors and into the early morning sunshine.

* * *

Father had, in his own quietly demanding way, asked that I remain with him at the mansion after I graduated from University. Even with the freedom of movement that being Chat Noir afforded me, I had no desire to remain in the gilded cage that was my space at Agreste Manor and had instead purchased my own apartment with funds I’d earned modeling through college. It wasn’t much more than a studio, really, but it was all mine.

In a nod to my needs as a feline superhero, while it didn’t have a balcony, it did have floor-to-ceiling windows with an amazing view of the Seine – and that could open wide enough for a human-sized cat to arrive and depart undetected. I landed in a three-point crouch on the windowsill and frowned, for my feline sense of smell had immediately picked up the telltale scent of ginseng and black tea.

“Master Fu?” I called out as I remained perched on the window, feline eyes scanning the space.

“Chat Noir,” he said as he stepped out of the shadows the early morning sun was making in the rear of the bedroom.

“This is unexpected,” I continued, unwilling to move from the window. “Should I be worried?”

“No,” he replied with that enigmatic smile that generally told me everything and nothing. “Come have some tea, will you?”

I slid off the windowsill. “I don’t have tea in the apartment,” I said, masked eyebrow arched.

“Fortunately, I travel equipped,” he said as he guided me out of the bedroom and into the small combination kitchen/living space. To my surprise, a teapot and two cups were awaiting us on the small island that served as my dining table.

Opting to stay transformed, I wrapped my paws around the china teacup and allowed Fu to pour me a cup; my feline eyes watched the steam rise as the stream came out of the spout, and I could feel the heat through my paws despite the costume’s intrinsic protective properties. It occurred to me once more that I had yet to plumb the depths of the magic contained within the costume itself. My masked visage turned to Master Fu. “Why do I feel like you’re about to rock my world?”

He smiled again. “You are a perceptive one, Chat.”

“It comes with the ears and tail,” I said as I blew on the hot liquid before taking a sip.

“No,” Fu corrected. “It’s part of _you_ , Adrien. The Cat Miraculous just enhances that aspect, along with your other qualities.”

“Like my puns?”

“Maybe not _all_ of your abilities,” he laughed.

“Lay it on me, then,” I said.

Fu put down his teacup and moved the octagonal Miraculous box I’d already spied sitting next to the teapot. “Ladybug is going to be unavailable for a while,” he said carefully. “So I need you to temporarily take her earrings and kwami. I will take your ring in the interim and return it to you once she is… available again.”

My ears flattened and I had trouble separating two competing emotions. I had zero desire to see Plagg, my near-constant companion for almost a decade now, suddenly go away; perhaps more importantly, though, I was worried something had happened to Ladybug. “Is she okay?” I asked, putting aside my worries about losing Plagg for a moment.

“She is now,” Fu said as something crossed his normally inscrutable face. “I don’t ask this of you lightly, Chat,” he said, somehow reading my own thoughts. “I know you’ve grown into your relationship with Plagg, and it’s not my intent to separate the two of you before your time as a Holder is actually done.”

I nodded, bell ringing as I did. “I’m not a very good Mister Bug,” I reminded him. 

“You sell yourself short,” he smiled. “You’ve only had one outing, which is not enough of a chance to become proficient. And,” he said again, “this is only temporary.”

“How temporary?”

“Three or four months,” Master Fu replied. “I’ve also decided to loan Carapace and Rena Rouge their Miraculous for the duration so you will be able to call on them as needed.”

My jaw hit the counter. “That’s… that’s not _temporary_.” I looked at the box again. “What, did Ladybug go on a world cruise or something?”

Master Fu weighed something and then answered. “She needs some time away, Chat. That’s all I can tell you.”

I blinked. “Is it me? Did I do something—”

“Nothing like that, Chat. It’s more personal.”

“But she didn’t even say goodbye!”

“She’s not gone, Chat. Ladybug will be back.”

I stared at him. And then looked at the box, then the ring on my hand with its glowing paw print. After all this time as Chat Noir, the very idea that I might _not_ be him any longer was unsettling. Masked eyes flicked back to Master Fu and I searched his wizened face for answers he was unwilling to give me. My feline eyes moved to the ring once more. 

_If this is to help Ladybug, in some small way even, there’s really no decision is there?_ I thought.

“My father is going to kill me,” I smiled as I turned back to Master Fu.

“Why?” he asked, genuinely caught off guard by my comment.

I brushed back the unruly mane of blonde hair I had when transformed, exposing my ears. “Getting these pierced will drive him insane, especially with the catalog shoots coming up.”

Fu smiled. “You don’t sound worried.”

“I’m not,” I laughed before sobering slightly. “All right,” I replied as I looked to the box with no small amount of trepidation.

“Thank you, Chat.”

“Plagg – claws in,” I said softly.


	3. Recovering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _After fairly regular visits as Mister Bug, Chat sees Marinette is healing physically, but not emotionally. Without his normal feline bag of tricks, though, he tries another tack._

Over the next few weeks, Tikki helped me adjust to my new reality; as I’d anticipated, Father had not taken kindly to my first appearance at House of Gabriel sporting earrings. He’d been angry enough that he’d physically driven to the office and reamed me out in person – at least, until my assistant provided him the market research I’d commissioned that our numbers would go up with specific demographics should I wear them over the next few ad campaigns – demographics that had the disposable income to pay for our expensive lines.

While he didn’t apologize, he _did_ approve the revised campaign before disappearing back to his design studio at the mansion once more.

It had been years since I’d last used the yo-yo, however, and even then it had been only for a single afternoon. I felt prudence demanded some practice, so I’d spent the first few days after taking over the Bug Miraculous on the outskirts of Paris, trying to recall all of the many moves Ladybug had purrfected over the years. Above all else, I continued to stop by and visit Marinette – and by the third night as Mister Bug, I managed to correctly judge how to lower myself onto her balcony properly via yo-yo without making a complete fool of myself.

Sabine met me at the slider with a smile. “You _are_ getting better with that,” she said, having gotten over the initial shock of my appearance three nights prior.

“I think so,” I replied. “But I can’t wait to give it back to Ladybug. Can you keep a secret?” I asked, lowering my voice confidentially.

Sabine nodded.

“I miss being a cat.”

She laughed and led me into the apartment as I wound the yo-yo around my waist. “She’s a bit low today,” she said as we paused at the end of the hallway. “I’m not sure what happened.”

I frowned, and if I’d still had a tail, it would have twisted. I couldn’t believe how much of my Chat persona I had gotten used to. “I’ll try to cheer her up,” I offered.

“Just being here helps,” Sabine said, and I could see she was dragging a bit.

“I’ve got this tonight,” I said as I put a gloved hand to her shoulder. “Go home and get a good night’s rest.”

“You’ve been here every night since she got out of the hospital, Chat—er, Mister Bug,” she said. “You look as tired as I feel.”

I laughed. “My kwami keeps me going,” I lied. “I can rest later. And,” I added as I hugged her before she left, “you can still call me Chat. I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to being Mister Bug.”

Seeing her to the door, I retraced my steps and tapped lightly on the door to her bedroom.

“Hey Chat,” Marinette said as I poked my blonde head in. “Sorry,” she smiled, though it seemed to have a tinge of sadness to it. “I’m not used to you looking like Ladybug.”

My masked eyes widened in mock insult. “I look _nothing_ like Milady,” I replied.

“No,” she agreed. “Your curves are in different spots.”

I rolled my eyes as I moved to the chair I’d been using the last few nights. I wasn’t able to perch like normal, so I sat and casually crossed my legs. “I had no idea you’d noticed,” I said, not very subtly flexing my biceps as I laced my fingers behind my head.

“Yep,” she laughed. “You’ll never _not_ be Chat, no matter what costume you wear.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” I looked at her closely, feeling like something was different – it took me a moment before I realized what it was. “Your earrings!” I said, sitting up and staring at the star-like design she was now sporting. Gone were the dark yet exotic gems she’d worn for as long as I’d known her. “They’re different.”

A hand flew up to one ear. “Yeah,” she said softly. “Maman thought I should try something new.” 

“I suppose,” I said, arching a masked eyebrow. “I guess everything is changing at once these days; I’m not sure my fur brain is fast enough to keep up.”

“Don’t you mean bug brain?” she laughed.

It had been an intentional slip on my part, and I was heartened to see her smile. “I stand corrected, Purrincess.”

Her eyes went to my ears. “To be honest, you look good with piercings.”

“I’m not a huge fan,” I admitted. “I prefer feline ears to earrings.”

“You never did tell me why you’re Mister Bug,” she said, trying to turn a bit to get comfortable, despite the cast.

“Ladybug apparently has some personal things to attend to for a bit,” I said honestly. “That’s as much as I know.” 

“That seems unusual,” she observed.

I shrugged. “She’s done so much for Paris, I think she’s entitled to a little time to herself.” I looked away for a moment. “I admit, it’s not the same without her, but I’ll hold it together until she returns.”

“It’ll be just as soon as she can, I’m sure of it,” Mari said.

“I hope you’re right. How did your follow-up appointment go?”

Marinette grimaced. “I’m healing well enough. Minor physical therapy – wiggling the hands, some mechanical stuff – begins next week. Much more when the cast comes off in six weeks.”

“That sounds pawsitive!” I smiled widely, slipping in a Chat pun.

“Yeah,” she said, sounding anything but.

I leaned over. “I can’t hear your pulse like I normally do, but I _can_ see you look tired. Are you still having nightmares?” I asked.

“Not really,” she said, but the way her eyes shifted told me otherwise.

“I can’t purr you to sleep tonight,” I apologized as I stood and slipped onto the bed beside her. “But I can help you differently,” I added as I once more slid a costumed arm beneath her head.

As she settled her head onto my chest, I lowered my voice. “I’m just going to talk a bit. Listen to my voice, if not the words – just the flow of the sentences, the cadence.”

She looked up at me. “Okay,” she said, raising an eyebrow.

“Trust me. It’s something my—uh, something someone once used on me,” I explained, nearly revealing I’d once had a therapist.

Settling her head once more, she sighed. “I trust you implicitly.”

“Good.”

I started talking about my day, in general terms that couldn’t connect Mister Bug to Adrien, then discussed some funny cat videos I’d found on the internet. That lead me to remember an article that Alya had posted on the Ladyblog about Chat, one where she was presenting her theory that my ears and tail were not real; we both laughed at that one, for over the years I’d provided plenty of evidence to Marinette that while they may _look_ fake, they were very real in their movements and operation. I even admitted to logging onto the forum under a pseudonym and leaving a few comments to that end. 

My voice got softer and softer, but a good ninety minutes later, I could see Marinette was resisting closing her eyes. I twisted to look her in the eye. “This isn’t working, is it?” I asked.

“It’s not you,” she yawned apologetically. “I’m just not tired.”

“I think otherwise,” I said as I narrowed my masked eyes at her. “You’re fighting it. Why?”

“I am _not_ ,” she said defensively.

I looked at her, caught between wanting to help draw out of her whatever fear she was trying to dodge but knowing she wasn’t quite ready. But nearly two weeks after her accident, it worried me that she was still experiencing some sort of trauma. Without my cat skills, though, I was definitely having trouble calming her like I had before swapping kwamis.

“There was this one akuma, many years ago,” I started, deciding to try another tact. “Sandboy, I think he was called.”

“I remember that one,” Marinette said. “It was a little kid on a pillow.”

I sighed. “That little kid managed to have me live my worst nightmare in real-time.”

Marinette caught the haunted expression I had to have had on my face. “Would you… share what that was?” she asked. “With me?”

I nodded. “I have always had twin fears of being alone and being trapped, especially in small spaces,” I started. “So, naturally, I had both in one nightmare. I was still living at home at the time, and when the akuma hit, I found myself locked away in a small cell, all alone.”

Marinette’s eyes widened. “You must have had your kwami with you?” she asked. “You weren’t alone, really.”

“I was in that case. My kwami had a… special project that night; it was one of the few times I’ve been separated.” I shuddered. “Not an experience I’ve ever wanted to repeat, though a few akumas since have come close. One actually managed to suck him out of my ring for a short while I was transformed.”

“My nightmare that night seems lame by comparison,” she said.

I felt like getting her to talk about that night might lead to her opening up about her real fear – the one keeping her doggedly determined not to fall asleep. “Tell me.”

She sighed and closed her eyes as she retrieved the memory. “There was this guy I was crushing on at the time. Sandboy created a zombie version of him who chased me around Paris while taunting me by saying he was in love with someone else.”

“Ouch,” I replied. Oddly, the faint twinge of jealousy bubbled up, causing me to ask: “Do you still feel the same?”

“About the guy?” Marinette replied. “Not anymore. I still see him, of course – we both live in Paris. But our lives have moved in different directions.”

My heart skipped, for, to be honest, I’d never actually asked her outright if she were seeing anyone; the fact that no significant other had materialized to help her out had answered the question if I’d thought about it, though.

Talking about the nightmares from so long ago led to other topics, but by the wee hours of the early morning, Marinette had finally succumbed and was softly snoring against me. Sneaking out the yo-yo, I made a note on the to-do app. Marinette might be progressing physically, but I knew I wasn’t the one who’d be able to help her with the nightmares. 

Fortunately, my alter-ego happened to know someone who could.


	4. Back Into The Swing of Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Relieved to have Plagg back at his side, Chat is ecstatic when Ladybug returns from the four-month hiatus. However, the first akuma attack they tackle together proves to be less a well-oiled machine and more of a grinding experience._

The magic of transformation allowed me to fall into a pattern of spending the night at Marinette’s during her initial recovery; barring an akuma, I generally arrived right after work each evening as Mister Bug and sent an increasingly tired Sabine home after dinner. I’d return to work the following morning in the exact same outfit I’d worn the day before, perfectly put together as always. Having worn the same outfit for years as a teen had apparently conditioned my staff to expect no less from the adult supermodel version. 

Once the cast came off, Sabine waited a week to ensure Marinette was able to get around sufficiently well that she felt comfortable enough to move back to the Bakery. I saw no reason not to continue to visit and shifted into cheerleader mode, helping her with the at-home portion of her physical therapy. Gradually, she grew stronger and more confident, and it seemed like she’d begun to sleep a bit better as well – or, perhaps, had simply become better at hiding it from me.

To that end, I’d made an informal visit to the counselor that had been amazingly helpful to me when I’d been dealing with the abrupt disappearance of my mother; while I didn’t drop in as frequently as I once did, I was cognizant enough of my own mental health and the effects fighting Hawkmoth’s increasingly more dangerous akumas could have on it to make time three or four times a year for a session. If Dr. Kamiji had any concerns about the peculiar stressors Adrien talked about, she maintained an amazing level of professionalism and kept them to herself. I was certain when I was ultimately able to come clean about being Chat Noir, she would just nod as she always had and ask me in those dulcet tones, “And how did that make you feel…?”

Encouraging Marinette to make an appointment to see Dr. Kamiji was a subtle charm campaign on my part, begun after I’d cleared it with the good doctor. While Marinette definitely felt more comfortable talking to me as time passed, I knew what she really needed was more than just a kind feline ear from an overgrown cat (or bug, depending on the day). She’d softly rebuffed my attempts, and now that she appeared to be doing better, I let it go but not without promising myself to keep a careful eye on her. 

In the months since her accident, I’d only been by my apartment to check on my snail mail, which in itself remained significant. Fans of my supermodel alter-ego – and they still numbered in the thousands – seemed to prefer sending physical letters and cards, something of an anachronism in a world otherwise driven by social media. I tried to return the favor by replying to just about all of them, though I’d created quite the backlog with my nightly visits to Marinette.

It was on one of those runs about four months after Marinette was injured that I found Master Fu in my apartment again. Sensing I knew why he was there, I smiled. “She’s back?” I asked, unable to keep the excitement – and, frankly, relief – out of my voice. 

“Yes,” the Guardian nodded. He produced the box I’d hoped I’d see once more. “You’ve done well as Mister Bug,” he smiled. “But Chat Noir is a better fit.”

“I wouldn’t presume to dispute you.”

“That’s wise,” he said.

“Tikki, spots off!”

Even after our months together, I had never gotten used to the red flash of transformation associated with Tikki. The green-and-black associated with the Cat Miraculous had become so much a part of my psyche that even now I was surprised to see the red-and-black one last time. And as fond as I’d grown of the pink kwami that floated up to hug my face, I had to admit I missed Plagg horribly.

“I’m sorry to go,” Tikki said with her melodic chiming voice. “It’s been fun getting to know you better, Chat.”

I smiled as I pushed my hair back; I’d let it grow a bit longer to cover the earrings in anticipation of needing to mask the fact I wouldn’t have them at some point. “Same here, Tikki. Thanks for putting up with me.”

Smiling, she hugged me one more time before disappearing in a burst of light as I removed the earrings and placed them into the box for Master Fu. I tried to keep my movements slow, but the anticipation of seeing my small friend had me snatching the box from Master Fu’s hands just a bit too eagerly. 

His slight smile wasn’t lost on me as I snapped the box open and, in a burst of green-and-white light, Plagg appeared. “Hey kid,” he said, feigning indifference. “What’s happening?”

I tried to hide my smile, for having lived with him so long as I had, I could tell he was just as happy to see me as I was him. “Well, I had to clear out all of your cheese,” I said, narrowing my eyes as I gratefully slid the ring back onto my finger.

Plagg’s eyes went wide and he zipped away from me to the small refrigerator I’d installed just for him. A moment later, he returned holding a slice of Camembert. “You had me going there for a moment,” he said, the sound of relief in his voice.

Less than an hour later, I was soaring through the late afternoon sunshine, relishing in how, as Chat, I could luxuriate in the warmth of the rays as they hit my dark costume. As the scents and sounds of the city filled my feline senses, I knew once more how much I had missed everything Chat was. And just how happy that my partner was _finally_ back on the scene.

_Speaking of…_ I thought as I spied a red splash of color against the bright blue of the sky. Redirecting from my original path toward Marinette, I decided a few minutes catching up with Ladybug wouldn’t hurt. My feline eyes traced her trajectory and I adjusted again to intercept her on a rooftop fairly close to the Grand Palais. Landing on the tile in a crouch, I smiled widely at my partner who had her back to me. 

“Milady—”

Ladybug shrieked and vaulted into the sky, her yo-yo unspooling and dropping from her hand. In horrific slow motion, I watched as she windmilled in a poor attempt to retrieve the yo-yo and prevent herself from falling off the slanted rooftop. 

I shifted into automatic, leaping into the air with my arms outstretched, catching her just as she fell over the edge of the roof. We end-over-ended a few times before I could extend my baton and gently lower us to the sidewalk she’d very nearly become a bugcake upon. “Ladybug—” I started before realizing she was shaking.

Holding her tighter, I hugged her. “Hey, hey – it’s okay! I’m sorry, I didn’t intend to scare you like that.”

Ladybug might have said something, but it was muted as her face was pressed up against my chest. Looking around, I could see pedestrians were watching us with strange expressions; not wanting to complicate matters more than they seemed to already be, I wrapped my arms a little tighter to push us upward again on the baton. Mindful of how the last shot of us kissing had gone viral, it seemed prudent for us to return to the rooftop and away from smartphones that could capture her grasping me - and grasping she most definitely was. While a small part of me felt that old thrill at the intimate contact, the chance for us to be together had long passed. 

Gently, I set her down on a small brick wall before settling in next to her, one paw protectively wrapped around her shoulder. As I searched her face, I found she had actually been crying. “Milady,” I said softly as I wiped away a tear with a claw-tip. “I am _very_ sorry – I didn’t—”

“It’s not you, kitty,” she said as she snuffled. “I’ve been away from this for too long, I guess. I’m just a bit… stressed out at trying to get back into the saddle.”

I hugged her sideways. “Take all the time you need,” I encouraged. “But from the looks of how you were handling the yo-yo, you’re not all that rusty.”

“That’s kind of you to say, Chat.”

Her tone surprised me. “What’s wrong, LB?”

“It was… a hard day for me today,” she said haltingly. 

I looked at her, narrowing my masked eyes. “Alter-ego woes?” I said, falling into our shorthand for “sucked outside the mask today.”

“You could say that,” she replied, and started to say something else when my baton sung out the tri-tone akuma alert.

Snapping it open, I twisted the display to show her the details. “Just a few blocks from here,” I said. “Nothing like getting right back into it on the first day back.”

Ladybug just nodded as she dropped down and retrieved her unspooled yo-yo.

Growing concerned, I dropped beside her. “If you want to sit this one out,” I started, “I can see what the situation looks like and then bring you in. Cap and Rena are also available still—”

“They’re not,” she said. “Master Fu picked their Miraculous up when he made the rounds today.”

I swore. “Why on earth—”

“I may have told him to,” she said, a bit chagrined.

“Stay here,” I instructed.

“No,” she replied.

I glared at her. “I’ve been Mister Bug for a bit, Milady. I think I can handle this.”

“I need to do this, Chat,” she said, a note of pleading entering her voice. That, too, was unusual.

Against my better judgment, I nodded my out-of-control mane and leaped away toward the akuma. Ladybug paralleled me initially, but it was evident she was having trouble tossing her yo-yo. I landed on an antenna aerial half a block from our destination and watched as she shot the yo-yo out and missed – twice – before finally wrapping it around a handy filigree.

Vaulting behind her, I slowed up a bit and went into something of spotter mode; by the time we made it to the park where the akuma was wreaking havoc, my anxiety levels were quite high. It was clear to me that Ladybug wasn’t entirely ready to get back into the game. Dropping into a crouch on the granite pavers next to my partner, I looked up at her. “Ladybug, I don’t know _why_ you took your sabbatical, but I am a little worried you’re not at one-hundred percent.”

“I’m fine,” Ladybug said a bit testily.

There wasn’t time to say anything else, for I was suddenly yanked from where I was crouched; I’d been so concerned about Ladybug, I’d missed the fact our akuma had multiple tentacle-like tendrils, one of which had snared me around the midsection. Cursing as I sailed through the air, I smashed into the side of a building, leaving a Chat-shaped dent in the polished concrete façade. 

Claws at the ready, I twisted out of the hole and pulled myself upward, only to have my motion arrested by another tendril around my ankle that yanked me downward. Digging in, my claws left deep grooves as the akuma attempted to pluck me off the wall. I tried to look over my shoulder to see what Ladybug was cooking up; to my surprise, she was just standing and… staring… at the plant-like creature that was in the center of the garden plaza. 

“Ladybug!” I cried out as I slipped a bit more. I tried to twist a bit but knew pulling one paw away from the building to reach my baton would likely see me sailing through the sky again. Things got worse when a second tendril curled itself around my waist, causing me to frantically claw at the side of the building even as my lower body went perpendicular.

Glancing over my shoulder, I could see Ladybug hadn’t moved at all and was in some sort of trance. Looking back to the akuma, it was evident there was a nasty beak-like thing in the center of… well, whatever this akuma had become. Snapping open and shut, I could clearly make out the razor-sharp teeth and decided I didn’t want any part of _that_. 

Silently thankful years of being Chat had endowed me with some nice muscles, I took a deep breath and pulled as hard as I could against the tendril on my ankle; it gave slightly, then snapped away with a revolting noise. One tendril down, I quickly popped my claws out of the wall and doubled over, going to work shredding the tendril about my waist with my now sharpened claws. Some sort of goo splatted all over my costume as I dug deeply into the fleshy substance, and the accompanying smell made me gag. Halfway toward certain doom, I damaged it enough that it slid away from my waist. I twisted and grabbed my baton, using it to helicopter around grasping tentacles before landing next to a still-dazed Ladybug.

Tackling her, I leaped away to a safer distance from the creature before putting her down. “Lucky charm?” I suggested strongly.

“Y-y-yes, that makes sense,” she said, snapping out of her trance. “Lucky Charm!” she cried.

A stuffed cat fell into her hands, and I looked from that to her. “What the Hell is that?”

“I… I don’t know,” she said as she fell to her knees. “I’m sorry, I guess you were right.”

I shook my head. “We’ll worry about that later,” I said as I turned back to the swirling mass of tentacles.

In the end, I managed to deduce where the akuma was hidden – unfortunately, it entailed a journey into the digestive system of the thing – and Ladybug, after one false start, nabbed the butterfly and purified it. Normally, I would spend time with the victim to ensure they were okay, but I was seriously worried about my partner.

Spiriting her away to a rooftop, I put a paw on each shoulder and looked at her carefully. “Ladybug, what happened to you while you were away?”

Earrings chirping, Ladybug shook her head. “I can’t tell you,” she said. “But I’m working through it still, I guess.”

“What can I do?” I said softly. “I’m here for you.”

She put a gloved hand to my paw. “I know, Chat, but I’ll be fine,” she smiled. “I’ve got to run.”

“Call me,” I urged. “Any time.”

Ladybug nodded and then took off.

I watched her move away, haltingly, and wondered if it was worth a visit to Master Fu to find out _exactly_ what had happened to Ladybug on her time off. Cruise it was most definitely not. Sighing, I vaulted away into the early evening and toward Marinette’s apartment, late for my normal nightly visit.

Oddly, Marinette was on the balcony when I landed on the railing. “Hey,” I smiled. “Guess who’s back!”

She turned and I could see she’d been crying.

“Whoa whoa whoa,” I breathed as I slipped down and drew her into a hug. “What’s wrong?”

“Work. Life. Everything,” she said as she pressed her head into my chest.

“Work?” I said. She’d been back at House of Gabriel for two weeks now, but I was also aware that her first one-on-one with Father (or, rather Father-on-the-iPad) hadn’t gone well.

“Yeah. I’ve missed too much time, and I froze hardcore when I met with Gabriel Agreste today.”

I hugged her closer. “Tell me what happened.”

“There’s not much to tell,” she replied. “I had three separate meetings planned with him when I got back, and just felt like I wasn’t ready. I… may have panicked a bit and skipped the first two; when I did meet with him today, I just babbled and ran from the room ten minutes after the meeting started.”

“Ouch,” I said, nodding. That was exactly how my assistant had relayed it to me. “I understand meeting with the Great Man can be a bit daunting, but you’ve got this! Look, take a deep breath and then we’ll go inside; you can walk through what your presentation to Gabriel will be so you’ll be ready for the next meeting.”

Marinette started sobbing harder. “There… there isn’t going to be a next time, Chat,” she cried. “House of Gabriel fired me.”

My ears went straight up, for my assistant had omitted that key detail. “Oh… oh, Mari…” I said, stroking her hair while watching her dreams crumble down around her.


	5. Errors and Omissions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Chat has his hands full as Marinette loses her internship with House of Gabriel and starts to withdraw from the world. And after a month where Ladybug struggling mightily fighting akumas, Chat’s forced to visit Master Fu and make a difficult request._

I felt somewhat powerless as I watched Marinette withdraw from the world after being sent packing from House of Gabriel. I had tried to intercede on her behalf, arguing with Father that she was still recovering from a healthy dose of trauma; he’d used it as an opportunity to remind me who was still running the company, as well as the fact there were three times as many people on the waiting list to replace her. My personal feelings on the matter – or about her in particular – had no place in the decision making process.

Intending originally to ease back on my visits, I instead wound up claiming a small couch at the end of her bed as my own for her inability to sleep manifested itself once more – and worse than when she’d originally returned from the hospital. Each night, I would curl around her protectively, purring, and slowly rock her. Once she got to the point where she felt comfortable, she’d let herself drift off and I’d stake out my spot on the couch, one feline ear twisted toward her while I tried to take quick catnaps throughout the night.

Surviving mainly on coffee and constantly being Chat Noir, I managed to keep some semblance of equilibrium between the demands of a supermodel and ensuring Marinette wasn’t entirely alone, but even having a deity in your ring isn’t always enough. About a month after she lost her gig, I quietly visited the Bakery and spoke with Tom and Sabine looking for some added support and was shocked to discover Marinette hadn’t filled them in on what had happened. That, in fact, she’d been telling them everything was going just fine.

All three of us realized it was anything but.

Sabine appeared at Marinette’s apartment the next morning and encouraged her to work at the Bakery to cover her expenses until she could crack the fashion industry once more. It took some prodding from both Sabine and me, but in the end, Marinette agreed. I continued to stay with her nightly, but the longer we went with her inability to get a full night’s rest concerned me enough to reach out to Dr. Kamiji once more. She told me what I already knew – Marinette would have to make the choice to come and talk; it would be counterproductive to force her.

So I began the subtle charm campaign once more.

Almost as if they were on parallel tracks, I had my hands full on the superhero front, too. Ladybug continued to have trouble regaining her form; in many ways, it felt a bit like she was regressing to our earliest days as a team. More often than not, we’d engage the akuma and Ladybug would immediately root herself to the spot, oblivious to the danger and in many cases becoming another victim I’d need to rescue. By the end of her first month back with me, she’d been reduced to hiding a corner while I single-handedly took on the akuma. Whatever fugue she was in would release her long enough to purify the butterfly, and then she would bolt away from me before I could do anything for her.

Landing on the balcony railing of Marinette’s apartment one evening after such an event, I knew I was finally beyond exhausted when I slipped on the wrought iron and splayed out across the tile, my baton rolling out of my hand and over the edge to the street far below. Sabine had begun to stop by a few nights a week again with dinner pre-made for us and saw me from where she was putting items into the oven. Dashing to the slider, she threw it open and helped me sit up.

“Are you hurt?” she asked.

“Just my dignity,” I replied wryly. “Sorry you had to see that,” I added as I flipped up to the railing. “Be right back – I’ve got to get my baton.”

She nodded and watched from the edge as I leaped from balcony to balcony, lowering myself to the street so I could dash into traffic and retrieve my trusty device. A few moments later, I was back standing beside her. “That sums up the day immeasurably well,” I groaned. 

“Ah,” she smiled as she led me into the apartment. Wondrous smells of meatloaf and fresh bread filled the space. Without asking me, she sheared off a sizable chunk of baguette and handed it to me. “Eat. Relax. I’ve already opened the bottle of red if you want a glass.”

I narrowed my masked eyes at my friend’s mother. “Are you trying to seduce me with food, Madame Dupain-Cheng?”

“Absolutely,” Sabine said sweetly as she kissed me on the exposed part of my cheek. “What middle-aged mother wouldn’t want to have a cat in her bed.”

My jaw dropped to the table. “Madame---”

“Don’t overheat the meatloaf,” she smiled as she shrugged on her coat. “Marinette isn’t back from the Bakery yet, so keep it on low until she arrives. I’ll be back in the morning.”

“Of course,” I smiled, a slight smile playing on my lips as she swept out of the apartment.

I came around the counter and poured myself a glass of wine and waited. As tired as I was, I ignored the siren call of the comfy couch and the catnap that could occur upon it, needing instead to be awake when Marinette arrived so I could see how her day had gone. Two hours and three glasses of wine later, I called the Bakery only to find that Marinette had left more than two hours earlier.

Tom sounded as worried as I felt. “She should have made it by now, Chat,” his tinny voice said over my baton phone. 

“I’ll go look for her now,” I replied, trying to sound calm when I was anything but. “I’ll call when I find her.”

Snapping the baton shut, I vaulted through the sliding doors to the balcony. The wine had made my fur brain a bit fuzzier than normal, but the shot of adrenaline at Marinette’s disappearance had chased the worst of the cobwebs away. Launching myself into the night, I started logically by tracing the most direct route between the Bakery and the apartment. When that failed to turn up anything, I started a more circular search pattern; after several fruitless hours, though, I snagged a landing spot on a chimney and began dialing mutual friends. Most were first shocked that Chat Noir had them on speed dial; only one – Alya – smiled when she saw me. 

“She’s _what?_ ” she cried at me. 

“Missing,” I said. “Is there a chance she’s in your neck of the woods?”

“I doubt it,” Alya’s small face frowned with worry. “Since the accident she’d kind of pulled away from, well, all of us. It’s been a good few weeks since I’ve even gotten a text from her.”

My masked eyes widened. “I had no idea,” I said.

“I’d heard through the grapevine you were helping her,” Alya said, lowering her voice a bit. “I’m glad at least you’ve been able to be there for her.”

“I’m not sure how much help I’ve been,” I said. “Especially if I can’t find her.”

Alya looked at me for a moment. “You could use some help, Chat,” she said meaningfully. 

“Ladybug hasn’t been answering either,” I said tiredly. “Believe me, I’ve tried.”

“Aren’t there… other heroes that can help?”

I blinked. She was right, technically, but Ladybug normally called them in. Then again, it _was_ something of an emergency. “I’ve got to go, Alya. Thanks.”

She nodded and I clicked off, pausing for a moment before speed dialing Master Fu.

* * *

Carapace found Marinette huddled in a corner outside the Macaron Bar on the Eiffel Tower’s second level. Near as he could determine, she’d gone up with the final load of tourists that evening, and had somehow been missed by the final sweep of security when the tower closed for the day. As unsettling as that was, I was more worried that she didn’t seem to know how she’d gotten there.

Rena, Carapace and I huddled on her balcony after I’d seated her at the kitchen bar with a hot cocoa. “I appreciate the help, guys,” I said quietly, glancing to make sure we weren’t being overheard. “Master Fu told me he’d decided to let you keep the jewels again for a bit,” I added. “I have a suspicion why.”

“She seems… different,” Carapace observed. “We’ve, ah, run into her before.”

“Marinette was involved in an accident a few months ago,” I explained. “She’s healed physically, but… well, let’s just say she’s had her share of good days and bad since.” I sighed. “This one seems to have fallen on the ‘bad’ side of the spectrum.”

“Is she getting help?” Rena asked.

“Not officially,” I said.

Rena caught my expression. “That’s noble, Chat, but you can’t give her what she needs,” she said quietly as she rested a gloved hand on my bicep. “She needs—"

“I know,” I said, blowing out a breath. “But I can’t force her. I can only encourage her. She has to _want_ to get help.”

“Sleeplessness? Paralyzed in certain circumstances? Uncomfortable in situations that were once second nature for her?” At my nodding, Carapace glanced at Rena. “She’s suffering from a form of post-traumatic stress,” he said, turning toward me. “I have a civilian friend who served in the Middle East; it took a long time for him to get over it, and that was _with_ professional help.”

I stared at Cap. For he’d just described Ladybug, too.

“Keep making the suggestion,” Rena encouraged with a warm smile. “If you are the one she trusts at the moment, over the long run it will sink in. Don’t push her, but gently keep it out there for her.”

“I’ll do that,” I nodded with a glance back to Marinette.

Rena smiled. “We’ll get out of your hair, Chat. Call us whenever you need us.”

“And we mean _whenever_ , dude,” Cap said.

“Thanks for having my back,” I smiled tiredly.

* * *

As I’d anticipated, Master Fu greeted me at my apartment the following morning as I vaulted through the window and crouched on the floor of the small bedroom, intending to pick up my mail and a specific outfit for the photoshoot I was going to that afternoon. Standing there next to the bed I’d not used in months, the wizened Guardian looked drained. 

“Chat,” he said, his tone serious.

“No offer of tea this time, I see,” I laughed from my crouch.

“Not this morning.” Without preamble, he produced the small octagonal box I had dreaded was headed back to my possession. “I think you know why I am here.”

My masked eyes couldn’t leave the box. “Is this permanent?” I asked.

“Not exactly,” he said carefully, causing my feline gaze to shift to his face. “You’ll swap once more with Ladybug. This time out, she’ll be by your side as the user of the Cat Miraculous.”

I nodded slowly. “Until you find a replacement for her.”

Master Fu looked like he had acid indigestion. “It’s the right move,” he said softly. “Based on what you’ve been dealing with this year, I’m more certain than ever Hawkmoth is nearing the apogee of his powers. You need a partner that you can count on.”

“I can count on her now,” I said but as soon as I did, I knew he was right. “Damn.”

“Succinct, if not overly colorful,” Fu smiled.

“What exactly happened to Ladybug?” I asked, my masked eyes searching the master’s inscrutable features. 

“It’s not my secret to tell,” the Guardian replied. “What I will say, though, is that you have all the information you need at your fingertips. How you chose to use it is completely up to you.”

I nodded again, for Master Fu’s appearance so soon after Marinette’s latest episode, combined with what Carapace had said after we found her had connected some dots in my fur brain that I’d been studiously ignoring; for what reason, I was as yet unsure. Now, as I stared at the box that had once belonged to my partner, I realized there was one less secret being kept from me. Whether that gave me what I required in order to get Marinette the help she needed remained to be seen. I found myself worrying more at what taking this box – and what it represented – might do to her. I furrventy hoped I was about to make the right move for all of us.

I reached for the box.


	6. Buggin In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _As Master Fu begins the search for a replacement Ladybug, Adrien attempts to balance being Mister Bug with his growing suspicion that Lady Noire is actually Marinette – and that she isn’t as recovered as she would want him to believe._

My transition back to Mister Bug was smoother on the third try, but Lady Noire was anything but. While my partner might have been relieved from the weight of being Ladybug, she continued to struggle with the core aspects of Chat Noir I usually provided: distraction, protection, and moral support. After just a few times out, I realized fairly quickly I was still mostly on my own and began to call in Carapace and Rena regularly. As the days dragged into weeks, I found myself praying that Master Fu would magically appear with a new holder and allow me to release Marinette from the horror show we’d somehow trapped her in.

And I was certain beyond a doubt that Marinette had been Ladybug; the timing of my original swap overlapped with her broken arm and the surgery, and when Ladybug had returned, she’d never quite gotten her full yo-yo abilities back. I now understood that was more due to Marinette not regaining her full range of movement, despite the extraordinary surgery that had been performed. The mere fact that she had even _attempted_ a comeback was amazing. 

I may not have been able to get Marinette to see Dr. Kamiji, but I had in general terms asked my doctor what someone _like_ Marinette might be dealing with. Her answer hadn’t really shocked me and was something along the lines that she might experience triggers in her daily life that would force her to relive whatever trauma she was suffering from. That had led me to try and _not_ involve Lady Noire when Hawkmoth went wild – what more of a trigger could there have been with a maniacal villain roaming Paris, Hell-bent on stealing our Miraculous -- but she had doggedly continued to appear at each scene of attack despite my best efforts.

And wild he was becoming. Master Fu had hit it on the head, for the attacks that had averaged one or two a day had bloomed into four or five, with some days seeing as many as eight attacks. I’d already been stretched pretty thin between my day job as a supermodel and being with Marinette most nights; it became bad enough that I’d barely have curled up on the couch at the foot of her bed when the damn Bug Phone would buzz with another akuma alert and we’d be off to the races once more.

Despite it all, I persisted trying to be that one consistent presence in her life, as exhausted as I was; it was easily double the work with her essentially MIA each time we fought Hawkmoth, too, but I kept the corny jokes going and didn’t reveal anything when I timed my arrival back at her apartment such that she’d be able to de-transform and act like nothing had happened. She needed me, and I needed her to get to a place where she felt safe enough to heal properly.

She wasn’t getting there, though. Each day felt like she was withdrawing further into herself; I knew from what Sabine told me she performed adequately at the Bakery, but none of her normal outgoing personality was there any longer. It got bad enough that they reassigned her to the kitchen exclusively, keeping her away from the customers. Her only bright spot in her life was, apparently, coming home to me; I recognized it as the classic dependency situation, but felt unable to break out of it at the risk of losing her completely.

So, I continued to be there every night and weekend I could; on the times I couldn’t, and they were rare, Sabine or Tom stepped in to ensure she at least had company until she finally gave in to her body and slept. None of us felt entirely comfortable letting her spend the night alone despite it being more than six months since the accident; none of us quite wanted to press the point and force her into the help she needed.

As we entered our third month since swapping kwamis, we caught a brief break when Hawkmoth returned to his pre-manic lows. I never thought I’d be thankful for _only_ two akuma attacks per day, but his constant battle with us had ground me down psychologically – much as I expected he’d planned. The logical part of my brain knew this meant that he was regrouping to try another angle, but I nevertheless took the break as a godsend for both myself and Lady Noire.

A random Wednesday found the two of us on what had once been a favorite rooftop, one with a fabulous view of the Eiffel Tower that was especially good when it was lit up at night. I was stretched out beside my partner, easing my aching muscles and trying to remember a time when it had felt like fun to be a superhero. “I miss the naivete of youth,” I murmured.

“How so?” Lady Noire asked. 

Despite working with her as a cat for months now, I still wasn’t used to her long, braided hair and seeing my feline ears atop her head. “Roaming the city at night, feeling like we were invincible. Not truly understanding one’s mortality was a stake.”

“Ah,” she smiled, a rare occurrence these days.

I rolled over onto my side. “I admit that as a younger Chat Noir, it felt more like a video game to me. You?”

“It was always serious to me,” she said. “From the beginning.”

I nodded my head. “The longer I wear your costume, the more I understand the pressures you were under,” I replied.

Lady Noire was silent for a moment, then asked without looking at me: “He’s replacing me, isn’t he?”

“Yes,” I said softly.

She sighed. “I’m surprised it wasn’t sooner,” she admitted. “I’ve not been a very good partner.”

If I still been Chat, my fur would have bristled. “That’s not entirely true.”

Her feline ears twisted sideways. “Always the gentleman, aren’t you?”

Sitting up, I turned to face her and put a gloved hand to her shoulder. “I don’t know what you’ve been through, Ladybug,” I said before catching the arched eyebrow. “Sorry – Lady Noire. Old habits die hard. Anyway,” I continued, happy to see her smile again, “it’s clear to me that whatever happened to you while you were on hiatus affected you greatly. And yet, you had the strength to _still_ come back out here and fight both Hawkmoth _and_ whatever new demons you now have.”

She turned, her masked feline eyes glittering with moisture. “Chat—”

“Milady, let me finish,” I said. “You are the strongest person – the strongest _heart_ I have ever had the privilege of knowing. You’ve given so much of yourself to others,” I continued a bit quieter, “maybe it’s time to let others help _you_. Even with things you think you can handle.”

I searched her eyes. “Whatever you might think, it’s a sign of _strength_ asking for help. Not weakness.”

She looked at me sidelong, and I could see a tear starting to form. “It seems impossible, but all of this seems to be too much -- way too much for me to handle now.” Her voice caught. “I feel like I’ve given up on you – on our partnership. And I’ve let Paris down.”

Pulling Lady Noire into a hug I whispered, “You could never do that, Milady. And you haven’t.”

* * *

“We have to stop meeting like these,” I said as I slid into the bedroom of my apartment from the open window, coiling up the yo-yo as I did.

Master Fu smiled tiredly. “My visits may be coming to an end, Mister Bug. I’ve found a replacement for Ladybug and have come to retrieve the Miraculous from you.”

Up to that point, it had been an academic exercise that Marinette would be leaving the team permanently; now, staring in slight disbelief at the Guardian, the reality socked me in the stomach and took my breath away. “You have?” was all I managed to get out.

“Yes.”

“Have you already collected the Cat Miraculous?”

“Yes,” Master Fu replied, revealing the box he’d been holding.

My red-masked eyes fell on the box, but I hesitated to take it from the Guardian. “I’d like to make a special request,” I said slowly as I finally reached out and took the small octagonal box into my gloved hands. “I’d like her to have a last day – twenty-four hours – with Tikki. So she can say goodbye properly.”

“Adrien—”

“I know I’d want to be accorded the same courtesy when the time comes for me to part with Plagg. Just as in my case, Ladybug has been with Tikki for a decade now. That’s a long time – long enough to have formed an emotional bond.” I looked away. “And not just for the holder. I’m quite certain Tikki would want one final chance to be with Ladybug.”

I looked back at Fu. “I think we both owe her that much.” _And if I’m right, it might help me later, too,_ I thought.

“If there is an akuma—”

“I’ll handle it.”

Master Fu looked at me with a new appreciation. “You can, I think,” he replied thoughtfully.

“I know I can. Will you do it?”

He looked at me closely for a few long moments, then produced the box for the earrings. “Twenty-four hours and not a minute longer. The day after tomorrow you’ll meet your new partner and start to train her.”

“Good,” I said and then paused. “Did I miss something? You said new partner – didn’t you mean new team leader?”

“I rarely make mistakes,” Master Fu smiled enigmatically. “Especially when it’s clear to me that I already have a team leader in place.”

I blinked before holding up my gloved hands. “Now wait just a damn minute—”

“You’ve proven yourself, Chat,” he smiled, cutting me off. “The earrings, if you please? I have an unexpected stop to make, and I don’t want to further upset my plans for the evening.”


	7. Early Retirement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Chat has a final outing with Ladybug – his Ladybug - and helps her accept losing the Bug Miraculous._

Chalk it up to having been so attuned to the Kwami of Creation, but our luck held the following day, with no akuma attacks at all. Master Fu had arranged to have Ladybug meet me in our favorite perch atop the Eiffel Tower mid-afternoon after presumably informing her it would be her last outing with Tikki. I’d wanted her to have as much time as possible with the pink kwami, hoping between the two of us, it would soften the blow of no longer being a holder.

I pulled the son-of-the-founder card and blew off work that Thursday, opting instead to perch unobtrusively in the shadows provided by the eaves of the building opposite Marinette’s apartment. Keeping vigil was meant mainly to ensure I was close at hand should she decide to transform herself and take one last spin around Paris; as it turned out, my suspicion bore out, and as she flung her yo-yo to the sky, I kept a discreet distance as I trailed her. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust her with the Bug Miraculous – far from it; I was more concerned that Hawkmoth would somehow end his vacation, and I knew Ladybug was in no shape to assist me in her present frame of mind.

Still, no small amount of melancholy percolated into my soul as Ladybug methodically made a tour of places that were likely only significant for the two of us: the street where we’d first met, entangled in her yo-yo; the park where I’d taunted Stormy Weather and been blown across several blocks for my trouble. The rooftop where we discussed what to do with Principle Damocles before he nearly drowned us in whipped cream as Dark Owl; Trocadero Plaza, site of too many akumas to list. Le Grande Hotel, Grand Palais, Arc du Triumph, the Grevin – all had meaning, all had memories, and all, ultimately had been victories for the side of everything that was good.

Ladybug then surprised me by visiting the Agreste mansion, landing on the Metro stop opposite and staring for quite some time at the side of the building where my old room had been. I was puzzled initially, my masked brow furrowing as I snuck a furtive glance from where I was pressed into the shadows. And then came the dawning realization – it wasn’t Ladybug visiting my old home; it was Marinette, finally giving me the answer of who the _other_ boy had been all along.

I was a thick kitty. 

Putting a paw to my forehead, I couldn’t believe that all those years ago, I’d been the one standing in the way of a relationship between Ladybug… and me. Both of us had moved on, but love is a funny thing, isn’t it? For somehow, I’d managed to find my way right back to Marinette and fell hopelessly in love with her – not as the idealized image of Ladybug, but a pure love, one based on the unfiltered relationship we enjoyed. Chat allowed me to be myself with her; the mask had actually served to reveal the very essence that was me. Seeing her stare at my room made me smile, for at the end of the day, she’d hooked Adrien, and hooked him deeply.

I’d long suspected Marinette felt that way about Chat, and wondered if this was her way of saying goodbye to Adrien once and for all. She sat there for a good half an hour before leaping away in a general direction toward the Eiffel Tower; it was getting close to when she was supposed to meet Chat, so I plotted a speed route and managed to be standing on the beam, twirling my tail when she landed softly next to me.

“Chat,” she said softly. 

I pulled her toward me and hugged her, and couldn’t help the tears. “Milady,” I said quietly.

She pressed her head to my chest. “I know this was your idea,” she said. “I didn’t like it initially, but Tikki and I wound up having a long talk.” Ladybug looked up at me. “I… I didn’t realize how much it would mean to me, to have a chance to say goodbye. Not just to Tikki, but to Ladybug writ large.”

I hugged her again. “It just seemed right,” I said simply. “I’d want to be able to do it myself when the time came.” 

_And, I want this to be a first step toward healing, Milady_ , I thought, but knew I couldn’t say that. Yet.

“We have a few hours left together,” I continued, trying and failing not to play with the tie for her pigtail. “What would you like to do?”

Ladybug looked up at me. “I’m not going to see you again after this, am I?”

I shook my head sadly. “Not like this, no.”

“Wow,” Ladybug said. Unexpectedly, she sagged against me, but I easily caught her and eased the two of us to the crossbeam. “Just… wow,” she said again, looking up at me. “I knew this day would come, but I also expected it would be the same day I discovered who was under that mask.”

“As always, our timing together sucks,” I chuckled. “I purromise you this: when I _can_ tell you who I am, I will use every feline tracking skill I have to locate your civilian alter-ego and reveal my identity to you once and for all.”

Her eyes widened. “But you don’t know who I am, either. How on earth will you do that?”

I laughed. “I’ll just go on the Ladyblog and tell you to meet me here at the Tower,” I said as I dusted my paws off. “Simple.”

“I’ll be a loyal subscriber, then,” she smiled and then turned to look out across the city. “I’ll be honest. I’ll miss being Ladybug, but I won’t miss the stress of _being_ Ladybug. If that makes any sense.”

“You furget I’ve been Mister Bug. I know purrfectly well what you mean.”

She looked up at me. “You do, don’t you?”

“Yep.”

“You might be the only person in the entire city – world, maybe – who knows what a burden it is. For the first time in a long time, I feel as though a great weight has been lifted from me.”

I hugged her close again, and we sat in companionable silence until the sun slowly sank below the horizon. As the stars that were visible from the city skyline began to appear, Ladybug stirred and stood. 

“So… I guess this is goodbye,” she said, and I could see her eyes were as watery as mine felt. 

I blinked several times to keep my vision clear. “Not goodbye,” I said, drawing away a tear with a claw before it could roll too far down her mask. “Just… good memories.”

She smiled. “I like that,” she said as she leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on the exposed part of my cheek. “See you around, kitty,” Ladybug said and then, in a blur of red fabric, she was gone.

The pure feline inside me wanted to bolt after her, to make her stop and spend just a few more precious minutes with me, for no matter how solid her replacement would turn out to be, they would never be Ladybug. Not the one I had known, had loved and then lost.

And then, purrhaps, found once more.

It was the end of an important chapter in both of our stories, but I hoped with every bone in my feline body that it would help me help _her_ further. Without the crushing demands of being a superhero, I felt like I might have a fighting chance to get her to seek help.

More than ever, it seemed like it would take a superhero to get a former superhero to a better place.


	8. Reaching Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _In an effort to help Marinette, Chat reveals a few masked details of his own anger/sadness/grief and how a counselor helped him get through it. Marinette is not an easy sell._

I knew it was unfair of me to mentally refer to her as Ladybug v2, but I couldn’t help it. While she had taken to the role easily, she was different than the original in so many ways that it was hard for me to count them. She was taller, for one, and had brown hair, not black; her costume looked more like something Rena would have come up with than Ladybug, with massive swatches of red and black interspersed with opposite-colored spots. About the only consistent item was the yo-yo, and even that was a bit different given she handled it with her opposite hand. 

She was competent, and a true partner. And not in any way Ladybug.

About the only thing I liked was training her had been fairly straightforward – it helped that she’d grown up watching the original and knew all of her moves, allowing me to cut our practice runs in half. The first dozen or so akumas had gone relatively well, too, though it was taking me a bit longer than I expected to embrace the mantle of Team Leader. Rena and Cap had been helpful in this regard, giving me the confidence to take up the reins as tempted as I was to give in to inertia and rely on v2 to handle everything.

Slowly we found our way forward and began to coalesce as a new team. But I couldn’t deny how much I missed the _original_ team.

Although she naturally couldn’t tell me why, Marinette was at turns both relaxed and depressed; I’d hoped that relieving her of the burden that was Ladybug would have freed her a bit, but it didn’t appear to have moved the needle at all. Several weeks after she gave up the earrings, I landed on her balcony railing one evening and was surprised to see (via my night vision) she was sitting on her couch in the dark.

Concerned, I slipped off the railing and tapped on the glass door; when she didn’t move to admit me, I tapped again, slightly harder. Tapping a third time, I slid the door open and pushed my wild mane into the space. “Princess?”

“Hey.”

“Not the response I expected,” I laughed as I dropped to all fours and moved toward her, cat-like.

“It’s just been… a day.”

I put my head into her lap and she surprised me by shoving me away, harshly. Rolling away from her, I hopped onto her coffee table and perched, masked eyes narrowed in her direction. My tail twitched as I murmured, “Defelinely not the response I normally get. At all.”

“Why are you here, Chat?” she asked, sounding tired and stressed at the same time.

“Where is your mom, Princess?” I countered, for Sabine had been appearing nightly to ensure her daughter was eating something (and to feed a certain kitty, too). My feline nose wasn’t detecting any delectables on the stove or oven, though. 

“I don’t need her to nursemaid me. Just like I don’t need a grown man trying to relive his youth by acting like a teenager in a Halloween costume to fawn all over me, either.”

“Ah,” I said neutrally, but I couldn’t help the flattening of my feline ears. I’d known we’d get to this stage at some point, and my heart sank at the thought I might have hastened matters by agreeing to Master Fu’s suggestion to replace her. Deep down I was aware that she didn’t feel that way about either Sabine or Chat, but it was hard to hear just the same.

“I don’t need your company tonight, Chat. Please go.”

Silently I remained on the coffee table, my tail swishing periodically as I trained my green eyes on her. They glowed ever so slightly in the dark, so I knew she’d be able to see me staring at her.

“I’m serious, Chat. Go back to whatever kennel you call home.”

“It’s okay to be angry,” I said softly.

She took a quick breath. “Who says I’m angry?”

“I’ve been there a few times myself. On one or two occasions, I was surprised Hawkmoth didn’t find me.”

“I’m _not_ angry,” she insisted. “And even if I were, what—”

“I lost someone really important to me a few years ago,” I said, my tail swishing harder as I thought about the day my mother disappeared. “I was much younger at the time, but it didn’t matter. It came out of nowhere, smashing into my life like an out of control freight train, leaving nothing but anger in its wake.”

The metaphor had been intentional, and I could see Marinette stiffen at the image I’d painted.

Shifting slightly, I leaned forward on my paws, noting that she was paying very close attention to me. “I had all of these feelings inside of me – anger was the biggest one, though. Anger at the world. Anger at my parents. Anger at whatever deity had been in charge of ruining my life the way they had.”

I paused. “And anger at _myself_ for letting it happen.”

I slipped off the table and stayed cat-like on all fours, roaming the small living room with my tail trailing behind me. “I withdrew from everyone. Everything. I didn’t want to get out of bed, nor did I have any desire to get into it, either. I was in a purgatory of my own making.”

Stopping at her knee, I looked up at her. “Better than anyone, I get the dark place you are in right now, Mari. Understand the need to lash out at perceived cruelty, the gnawing at your soul that won’t go away.” I put a paw on her knee. “The fear you can’t let go. The anger that never gives you a moment’s respite.”

Marinette was looking at me, hard. “What do I do?” she asked after a few moments, the words barely above a whisper. “How… how do I fix this?”

“You can’t,” I said softly. “Not without help. I can only take you so far, Princess. But I know someone who can bring you the rest of the way. They helped me just when I needed it the most.” I slipped up beside her on the couch, and very carefully curled around her. “I purromise you I will be with you every step of the way. But you have to _want to_ take the next step.”

“I… I can’t do it.”

“I won’t lie to you,” I said as I stroked her hair gently with a claw. “The road ahead is hard. Harder than anything you can possibly imagine, and then harder still.” I paused for a moment. “I believe in you, Mari. And I _know_ you can do this.”

She looked at me, tears flowing freely. “Chat… I’m so scared! All the time! Every _single_ day!” Sobbing, she put her head against mine. “I look in the mirror every morning and see a stranger, angry at everything and nothing, afraid to even walk out that door for fear of what might happen. Where did Marinette go? Who am I?”

Her eyes caught mine in a not-so-silent plea. “I want to feel normal again,” she said almost so softly I had to strain my feline ears to hear her. “How do I get there, Chat…?”

“One step at a time, Princess,” I said softly, holding her close. “And we do it together.”

Taking a deep breath, I kissed her on the top of her bun and asked very, very softly: “Will you let me help you, Princess? Help you find your way back?”

Every muscle in her body was tense as she curled into me, her breathing fast and pulse heightened. I knew how difficult that first step was – nearly moon-landing-quality hard. Then, as I gently rocked her against my black-leather-clad chest, I finally heard the one word I’d wished to hear for months.

“Yes,” she said. “As long as you stay with me.”

I picked up her hand and interlaced it with my paw. “I will go to the ends of the earth with you, Princess,” I said, tearing up slightly myself. “I made it to the other side – so can you.” I paused and flashed a small Chat grin at her. “Even if I am just an adult in a cat costume reliving my glory days.”

Marinette burst out laughing, wiping away the tears and her running nose as she did. “That’s not exactly what I said,” she pointed out. 

“I think that covered the main points,” I laughed with her.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I didn’t intend to be mean. I can’t explain this feeling… it’s as though I’ve lost myself – lost Marinette Dupain-Cheng.”

“She’s still here,” I said, tapping her heart with a claw. “We’ll find you,” I continued as I brought her to my chest again. “All we needed to do was take that first step to start looking.”

“Will you come with me?” she asked impulsively.

“Yes,” I said. “I will indeed.”


	9. Milestone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Marinette begins to talk to Chat, and though she doesn’t explain fully, he knows she’s dealing with losing everything she feels the most connected to: Ladybug, her internship, her future career in Fashion. He reminds her she’s not lost one thing: Chat Noir._

“I’ve been having flashbacks,” Marinette said.

The admission came on an unseasonably warm early Spring day, with the two of us cozily intertwined atop the latest iteration of the chaise lounge she’d once had at the Bakery. Marinette’s head was gently tucked into the crook of my arm, and my tail had spilled out over the side, gently swishing as she at long last began to tell me everything.

Dr. Kamiji had carefully scheduled Marinette’s sessions so a certain black feline could discretely cool his boots in the waiting room, allowing me to make good on my purromise to be there for Marinette. It had been harder to not eavesdrop on the session in the room beyond, given my superior feline hearing, but I’d managed to do it with a combination of earbuds (for my human ears) and anime on my baton. Now a few months in, Marinette was starting to peek out from beneath the dark cloud that had been obscuring her since the accident.

“I couldn’t sleep when I got back from the hospital,” she said, snuggling a bit closer in a move that always made my heart skip a bit and the purring deeper. “Those first few nights - look, I’m not sure I could have gotten through them without what you did, Chat.” She looked up at me. “I’d close my eyes and immediately I was there in the car, seeing papa smile at me. I’d yell for him to stop -- I’d _scream_ \-- but he’d just continue to smile at me right up until the car started to tumble around me. Again. And Again.”

Putting her head against my chest, she sighed. “I thought they would go away, and after a fashion, I tried to ignore it. But once the cast came off…” she shuddered. “It got worse. Much worse.”

I kissed her hair. “I know,” I said softly.

“My first day back at the internship -- dear Lord,” she sighed again. “I told you already about my fatal final one-on-one with The Man himself, when I just froze. I’d met with him multiple times before the accident, of course, and he’s a force to be reckoned with under normal circumstances.”

“I can believe that,” I said, smiling at the personal knowledge I had on that point.

“But I had always managed to handle it. Not that day, though. My vision went black and I felt like someone was squeezing my lungs, keeping me from breathing. His assistant nearly called for medical assistance; thank God it didn’t come to that.”

I continued to purr, softly stroking her hair in the process. Her personal scent was the strongest it had been in weeks, which I took to be a good sign - an indicator that _my_ Marinette might be lurking close at hand. Closing my masked eyes, I prayed that the breakthrough would continue.

“It went downhill from there, of course,” she sighed. Marinette traced one of the metal accents on my costume and continued with a hint of melancholy. “I lost the internship a few minutes after that non-meeting. Just like that, my dreams were gone.”

News of her panic attacks had, of course, reached my ears; I’d tried to intercede on her behalf with Father when I found out about her being cut loose - even going so far as storming the mansion to confront him personally. It had been a very long, very heated conversation that I had ultimately lost. “I’m so sorry.”

“I was -- well, I guess I am _still_ \-- upset about it. I held my future in my own hands, and I blew it.”

“That’s not fair,” I replied quickly. “You were in the middle of an extraordinary circumstance.”

“I know that _now_ ,” she said, smiling slightly. “But it doesn’t lessen the sting that I have likely lost my path forward in Fashion.”

I sat up a bit. “Someone with your talents will always have a space in the field,” I said.

“You’re just saying that.”

“No, I’m not. It’s true! I’ve never seen anyone with your touch and sense of style.”

“That’s kind of you, Chat, but seriously! What do you know about fashion, anyway?”

“More than you might expect,” I smiled. “Trust me. As a cat, I can de _feline_ ly smell talent.”

Marinette rolled her eyes at me and snuggled in further. “Once I lost the internship… and my career, for that matter, I really found myself adrift.” She paused, seemingly on the verge of adding something; I wondered for a brief moment if she was considering revealing her alter ego, for I was certain now losing that part of her life had hurt every bit as much as her gig at House of Gabriel.

Unsure if it was the right time for that, I rubbed my face against her hair to distract her. “How could you feel adrift?” I asked softly as I nuzzled her ear slightly, relishing the exotic notes of vanilla and spices that were Marinette. “Especially when you have a big black cat to keep you grounded?”

Marinette laughed -- a melodic sound that had been missing for far, far too long -- and half heartedly tried to push me away. “I know that now, Chat,” she said as she shifted slightly so her deep blue eyes could connect directly with my masked emerald ones. “There was a point there, though, where I was… well, it’s hard to explain.” 

She paused and cupped the side of my face along the mask’s edge. Unconsciously, I closed my eyes and leaned into her touch. “There’s my kitty,” she said softly.

“No fair distracting me when I’m distracting _you_ ,” I said as my purring threatened to overwhelm the space. 

I heard her sigh and cracked open a masked eye. “It was like… like I had a dead space inside of me. A black hole of sorts that ate up every emotion, every sense of self I had, and compressed it into this unbelievably tiny space that I couldn’t get into.” Her blue eyes shifted away for a moment, then returned to mine. “I fought it -- I’m _still_ fighting it, everyday.”

“That hole will be there furever,” I said softly. “What _is_ important is how we deal with it -- whether we let it define who we are, or if we instead understand what it is and move forward knowing it’s there.” I nuzzled her nose with my masked one. “Believe me, it’s not easy. And just when you think you’ve gotten to a good place, life will throw you a curveball and threaten to open old wounds again.”

“I still have fears,” Marinette said softly.

“So do I,” I replied. “But as someone once said, ‘courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.’” I reached a claw up to play with the ribbon she’d used in her hair. “It takes a lot of courage to understand you have fear,” I said softly as I gazed into her deep, beautiful eyes. “And even more to let love help push it away.”

Mari’s eyes went wide. “Chat,” she said after a long moment. “What… what are you saying?”

“What you already know,” I smiled warmly as I continued to play with the ribbon in her hair. “I’ve been in love with you for longer than I realized. You’ve had my feline heart wrapped around your little finger from the day we met,” I told her honestly, wondering if she would connect a few dots. “I finally have the courage myself to tell you outright.”

I could see her eyes were watering up. “But I’m not the same person I was a few months ago - hell, a _year_ ago. Are you sure you still feel that way about me?”

“Most defelinely,” I said without hesitation as I gently kissed her on the forehead. “But I also understand if you’re not ready for this - for us - quite yet. I can wait--”

My masked eyes flew open as she yanked me toward her by my bell and enveloped me in a kiss that sent my ears straight in shock. I’m not sure how long we were paired, but when we came up for air, she had a mischievous smile on her face. “I’m through waiting,” she said. “Now, how about another kiss…?”

* * *

Despite Hawkmoth moving into an insanely more manic cycle, I persisted in taking Marinette to her appointments with Dr. Kamiji; somehow, I continued to balance work, Marinette and burgeoning superhero duties, though it finally began to take a bit of a toll on me. On more than a few occasions, Marinette had to roust me from a deep, deep slumber on the small couch she’d managed to squeeze into her bedroom for me. In fact, I’d spent _so_ much time at Marinette’s apartment, I wondered if my landlord thought Adrien had moved out without telling her; I also realized I had no idea when it began to feel normal to awake each morning with a tail, feline ears and claws. It had quite literally been _months_ that I’d been sleeping transformed at the foot of my princess’s bed.

Still, it was completely worth it. For slowly, painfully slowly, Marinette began to return to me. 

It started as small things - her waking me up, for example, given how long it had been _me_ gently prodding _her_ to face a day she wanted absolutely nothing to do with. That was followed by the occasional present of coffee, wafted playfully below my masked face to enhance the wake-up call. Then came hand-made croissants - fresh from the apartment’s oven - the delightful smell of baking pastries teasing my feline olfactory just enough to gently wake me. 

I’d tried to protest at the effort she put in, for it meant she had been tip-toeing out of her bedroom well before dawn in order to make them. Marinette insisted it was no effort at all for a Baker’s Daughter, and besides (she’d added that with an affectionate clucking) I clearly needed the rest - as evidenced by the fact I’d never caught her escaping, not even once.

After a full day as Adrien, plus or minus whatever akumas Hawkmoth threw at me, I’d usually return to my princess just after the dinner hour - though I made a point of magically appearing randomly throughout the day if I could manage escaping to the skies as Chat. Initially, Sabine would leave something in the oven for me, but as time progressed, I started to find Marinette busily putting the finishing touches on a meal for two just as I’d alight on her railing, her timing unerringly spot-on no matter how late I was.

There were still nights when she would bolt upright in her bed, screaming at unseen terrors. I would be by her side in an instant, enveloping her in a cozy hug against my costumed chest so I could gently purr her back to sleep. Thankfully, they became less and less frequent though never less traumatic for the reliving. When we went nearly three weeks without one, I decided it was time to celebrate a milestone and appeared on her balcony the following evening wearing a cheshire grin and holding the most expensive bottle of wine from the cellar at Agreste Mansion.

It was mid-summer by that point, and we’d shifted to taking out meals out on her balcony, intimately seated at a small wrought iron table for two. Mari was just putting down small salads when I perched on the railing, and smiled in return. “I know that look,” she said.

“And what look is that?” I asked, cocking my head slightly as I narrowed my masked eyes.

“It’s the one you get when you’re up to no good,” she laughed. The sound of her happiness meant the world to me, and though there were still shadows behind her eyes from time to time, I knew she was handling them far better than she had months earlier.

“Moi?” I asked, holding a paw to my chest. “I’m hurt you would think such things of me.” I held out the wine. “In honor of your progress,” I explained as she took it from my paw.

Her eyes widened. “This is an ‘82…!” she gasped. “Where on earth -- _how_ on earth --?!”

“I have a secret collection,” I replied as I slid off the railing and took her into my arms, setting the wine back down on the table. “And given how far you’ve come, it felt right to raid it tonight. This is one of my favorites, actually. It has a bit of a cherry undertone.”

“I love cherry,” she said.

“I know,” I smiled. “Let’s go get some glasses and toast to what has been, and what is yet to come.”

Marinette moved in for a kiss and then leaned back into my arms, her eyes dancing with the merriment I’d long wanted to see again. “I’ll drink to that,” she whispered.


	10. New Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _An unexpected revelation leaves Chat gutted, leading to a surprise visit from an old friend._

The Miraculous Cure repaired the rubble that had once been Agreste Manor, then the rest of the destruction Hawkmoth had wreaked across Paris; the smoking ruins stretching across three-quarters of the city were flooded by trillions of v2’s ladybug helpers, and in mere moments, it was once more a very ordinary Parisian day. Cars started to move down the boulevard once more; pedestrians wandered here and there, oblivious to the events that had transpired over the previous few hours. Most galling perhaps were the reappearance of songbirds, singing merry tunes that belied the horror that had taken root inside what I had once considered my home - a horror that had metastasized across Paris year after hellish year.

It had come to a brutal end where it had all begun with one final, desperate gambit from Hawkmoth and his partner, Mayura. They had failed, not _just_ because they had never faced the combined might of every last member of Team Miraculous; no, their plans, formed over years, had never considered whether the final push to claim the Bug and Cat Miraculous would be the ultimate trigger -- the missing key unlocking whatever magical barrier had kept _all_ of us from accessing our full adult abilities. 

At the end, it hadn’t really even been a fair fight.

And yet, when the dust settled and the truth had been revealed, there was no rejoicing for me in the ending of Hawkmoth and his reign of terror. Instead, a massive hole had been blown through my life; as my teammates celebrated on the rooftop overlooking Agreste Manor, I found that everything I had once believed in had suddenly been called into question. Love, family, a sense of identity - all of it had been tossed onto the ash heap; it lay far beyond the reach of the Miraculous Cure and left me cold as ice as the glow from the swarming ladybugs receded. Not even the warm afternoon sun tickling the tips of my feline ears could thaw the frost on my soul.

The mansion, reformed, stood stoically in front of me. The revulsion at what it now represented was palpable, and I very nearly leapt off the roof with a charged ring hand, intent on raising it one last, final time. Instead, I looked to my paw and the two unprepossessing pins resting gently on my palm. Despite the damage caused by my Cataclysm, they were still able to catch the light for a brief moment, their beauty nearly enough to remind me that they were not intrinsically bad; it had been their holders who had been responsible for their turn to evil. 

Unzipping a costume pocket, I slid them to safety; I’d have to talk to Master Fu to determine if the kwamis themselves had been lost forever. An image of Plagg immediately appeared in my mind’s eye; the thought that I - or any member of our team, for that matter - might have caused the destruction of either of those two gentle gods was enough to bring a lump to my throat. 

It took me a moment to realize v2 had been speaking. “Sorry?” I replied, turning toward her. 

“What’s wrong?” Ladybug asked, her masked eyes narrowing in concern. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Maybe I have,” I said, and I could hear my own voice as if it were coming from someone else. 

There was a tap on my shoulder and I leapt thirteen meters into the air with a growl, coming down in a pounce crouch with my baton in hand. Carapace looked at my wild expression and took a careful step backwards. “Dude…”

Taking far more willpower than it should have, I managed to exude some sense of calm and forced a smile as I stowed the baton and stood. “You should know better than to sneak up on a cat,” I said.

“I’ve never been able to do that before,” he countered, concern creasing his features. “Are you okay, bro?”

“Yes, fine,” I said curtly. 

“Chat,” Rena said softly beside me. “Are you sure--”

“Yes.” It was harsh enough she stopped.

“Look, we should debrief… but I’ve got to be somewhere. Let’s meet at the usual place tomorrow,” I said to the gathering.

Rena cleared her throat. “Chat, we should probably talk about this now. It was freaking Gabriel Agreste! Parisians are going to want to know what happened.”

“And whether his kid was in on it,” v2 said darkly. “I can’t believe he wasn’t.”

“He wasn’t,” I said forcefully. “I know you’re new to the team,” I continued as I stepped toward her, “but Adrien has been a friend to Team Miraculous for more years than I can count.”

“Yeah,” Carapace added. “I… kinda know him. There was no love lost between him and his old man. He moved out the year he was of age, too. I don’t think he’s been back to the mansion more than a handful of days in the last five or six years.” He glanced to the mansion. “There’s no way he’d have made a deal with _that_ devil.”

v2 glared at Carapace. “What, are you his best buddy or something?” she asked sarcastically. “How could you possibly--”

“It doesn’t matter,” I said, my tail slicing through the air. “I trust Carapace, and if he vouches for Adrien - and if I vouch for him, for that matter, it should be good enough for you.”

She glared at me. “If you say so,” she huffed.

“I’ve got to go,” I repeated.

“Chat - hang on,” Rena said as she stepped over to me and lowered her voice. “If you need to talk, I’m here,” she said, glancing to Carapace. “Just like you’ve always been for us.”

I smiled wryly. “Thanks, fox,” I said. “I just need a bit to digest what happened. That it’s all over, finally.”

She nodded. “Call me,” she persisted with a fond smile. “And say hi to Mari for me.”

“How did--?”

“Fox’s intuition,” she laughed as she headed back toward Carapace.

I watched as they left together, the love they had for each other blazing like a soft glow between them. Nodding curtly to Ladybug, I hurled myself into the afternoon and away from my past - and into an uncertain future. For Rena had been partially correct; my first instinct had been to run to Marinette, but I worried that I wasn’t in any shape emotionally myself to see her. More to the point, I was concerned that my own issues would overwhelm her recovery, and I had no desire to see her regress in any way.

Instead I randomly circled Paris, losing all track of time in the process. When I finally came to my senses, I was huddled in the corner of my favorite nook at the highest part of the Eiffel Tower, face wet with tears and shivering at the unseen chill that had descended on my soul. Looking across the twinkling lights of the night scene, I knew it was late but I had no desire to move one whisker. My apartment suddenly felt too constraining, and Mari felt too delicate.

So I sat there, curled into a tiny cat ball, trying to keep the world at bay with no real sense of how to do that.

I had to have drifted off to sleep at some point, for some hours later I suddenly awoke with a start at the gentle footfalls landing on the beam next to me. Her scent hit my feline nose before I turned my wide masked eyes on her, a mix of shock and desperation most likely on my face. “Milady?” I breathed.

Ladybug smiled - _my_ Ladybug - as she knelt beside me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “Kitty,” she said softly. “I’m here.”

“Am I dreaming? I _must_ be dreaming,” I said as I buried my face in her chest. And yet, my panoply of feline senses told me it was her. Every last glorious bit of her.

“No, kitty,” she said. “Master Fu unexpectedly turned up this evening, saying a certain fox had reached out to him; she was quite concerned you might be in need of a friendly ear. With some help from Tikki, they apparently convinced her current holder to give up the earrings for a bit.” She sighed as she hugged me. “It is good to see you, Chat.”

I couldn’t help it. I started to cry, sobbing like the young child I had been at the time my mother had been ripped away from me. My whole body heaved with the effort, and I felt myself howl in despair. Through it all - much like I had done for her - Ladybug held me gently, and was simply there for me as only she could be.

Slowly the tears stopped, and at length I turned my red-rimmed masked eyes to her once more. “Milady…” I started as I searched her face. “I… I have always loved you.”

“I know _that_ , silly kitty,” she said fondly. “But I suspect that’s not why you’re up here in this tower.”

I stared across the city one more time. “No,” I said quietly. “It’s not.” I turned to her again, but her beautiful face was blurred by the onrush of tears once more. “He… he was my father,” I said in a rush.

Ladybug ran a hand through my wild mane. “I know,” she said softly.

Nonplussed, I started gulping air like a fish out of water. “How on earth could you know that? I’ve been so careful!”

She leaned down and gently kissed me on the cheek. “You have, my dear, sweet kitty. I’ve been rather impressed with how well you adhered to my Golden Rule all this time. You just made one tiny, tiny mistake and the rest of the pieces fell into place.”

“Then -- how?”

“I happened to mention to Alya that bottle of wine you brought to dinner a few weeks ago. She was intrigued enough that she did some digging, as only a journalist can do.” Cupping my masked face with one hand, she smiled wider. “You had no way of knowing that it was an exceedingly rare vintage, owing to a poor harvest that year. One Emilie Agreste apparently bought it from an exclusive wine shop as a gift to her husband on the occasion of their first anniversary.” She laughed. “As you might expect, the shop owner remembered your mother quite clearly.”

“My mom…” I sobbed slightly. “I think… I think she died as a result of Father’s pursuit of power...”

Choking back the tears, it all came out in one long rush of emotion. How the final akuma attack had drawn us to the mansion and the secret lair below; the abrupt discovery of the glass coffin and my dead mother. Of battling Hawkmoth among the plants and millions of white butterflies; of sentimonster upon sentimonster inflicted upon the team by Mayura.

I couldn’t hold it back any longer; while a part of me had no desire to burden her, I found myself unable to spare any detail. I told her about the anger at seeing my mother, the fear that Hawkmoth had the upper hand; the amazing discovery that I suddenly had abilities beyond my wildest imagination. How the team had surged and pressed and ultimately cornered the villainous duo.

And how Hawkmoth had made one final, fatal mistake.

Unzipping my pocket, I showed Ladybug the remains of the two Miraculous jewels. “I did this,” I said, my voice thick with emotion. “And now they are gone. Both of them.” I caught a sob. “All three of them, I suppose.”

Ladybug held me close. “The man who did this to us - to Paris - was no relative of yours,” she said. “And no one in Paris will ever believe that Adrien Agreste had any part in whatever sick scheme Hawkmoth had in mind.”

I looked at her. “You want to know the worst part? He said everything he had done was for love. Love for me. Love for her.” I looked at the city again. “I… I don’t know if I understand. I’ve never thought of love as being a force for evil…”

“Oh, Chat!” Ladybug cried. “How can you even _think_ that!” She rocked me a bit. “I am living proof of the value of love -- of _true,_ unadulterated love. Look at me,” she said as she tipped my face toward her. “You did this. Your love helped me find a path back to myself. _That_ is the power of love when wielded properly. Whatever it is that your father _thought_ he was doing, it might have been for many things - but love was most certainly _not_ one of them.”

Ladybug looked at me, and the love in her eyes blazed with an intensity that was nearly hard to see. “I love you, Chat Noir. It took me a long time to realize what a special kitty I had. But now that I do, I don’t intend to ever give you up. Much like you helped me over my hurdles, I’m here now for you. We’ll do it together, just as we always have.”

I smiled slightly. “Just the two of us, against the world?” I asked.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” she said softly as she kissed me on the cheek.

I closed my masked eyes at her simple act, and found myself quickly grasping at the lifeline it represented. More than anyone, I was well aware of how crucial it was to fight back the impulse to withdraw, snarling, into the nearest corner, angry at the world and everyone in it. Ladybug was right - much as I’d been nearly a year earlier. We were stronger together, not apart.

“This might take me a while to get over,” I said after a long, long moment. “Are you sure? It’s not going to be easy.”

“Without a second thought.”

“But--”

“No ‘buts,’” she said as she pressed a gloved finger to my lips. “Nothing is going to break up Ladybug and Chat Noir. Not even Hawkmoth.”

For the first time in hours, I felt a genuine grin appear “Milady, at this risk of spoiling the moment, only of us is still a holder.”

Ladybug pulled me closer. “I happen to know the team leader rather well,” she said. “I think he might be willing to reinstate me. If I ask nicely.”

I knew she was trying to lift my spirits, and they did rise. “Are you sure you want that?” I asked carefully. “I don’t deny how badly I want you back on the team. But you’re in a good spot now. And I don’t expect we’ll be needed much longer, anyway.”

“Kitty, there will always be another Hawkmoth. And to be honest, it scares the bejesus out of me to get back into costume.” She stroked my hair. “Ladybug, though, is as much a part of Marinette as Chat is to Adrien. I need her as much as you need him.”

I looked at the love of my life and knew she was speaking the truth. Masks or not, we were bound to each other; my soul still ached at the loss of everything I thought I had, but a tiny spark of what could be had appeared. With time, and mutual support, I could see a pathway forward out of the darkness that had descended upon me that afternoon.

“Are you sure, Mari?” I asked again as I brushed back a stray lock of her hair with a claw.

“More than anything, Adrien,” she smiled.

I pulled her close and the two of us huddled together as the sun poked it’s way over the horizon. Dawn was coming and along with it was the promise of a new future - one that involved having this very talented, extremely amazing woman in my life for the rest of my days. What she had gone through had made her stronger in more ways than I had realized, and I knew in that instant I had taken that first, gigantic step forward in my own healing. I leaned my feline head against her ravenesque hair and simply purred.

“There’s my kitty,” she said softly.

I saw no reason to disagree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _My thanks once more to ktreereads for reaching out to me; writing this story was quite the challenge, and I appreciate the trust placed in me to do it thoughtfully and respectfully._
> 
> _I want to reiterate what I wrote at the beginning - if you experience any of what Marinette was forced to deal with, know that there are support resources out there for you. You might not have Chat Noir in your life, but I can assure you caring people do exist in this topsy-turvy world, waiting -- wanting -- to help. You do not have to go through this alone._
> 
> _\--ep_


End file.
